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Life is so short not everyone gets to live a healthy productive lifelong dream. Some have to suffer. Everyone has their own path to take but the journey will always end.

It's been awhile since I was on here last. I've been doing really good as far as mental health goes (minus the severe chronic secondary pain).

Besides that, things have been very difficult financially. I've got plenty of sacrament grown, but I'm still trying to pay for my other meds, kratom alkaloid pills (these work well for severe pain!), etc. Because of the cold weather, my chronic pain has been flaring up severely, plus there's some suspicious new symptoms going on in my health lately (severe thigh bone pain, strange bruises on hip within inches of the painful thigh bone but NO injuries, no appetite, increasing nausea, thyroid swelling, shortness of breath, etc.....there are other concerning symptoms).

I've got both of my regular doctors watching this, but I cannot shake this gut feeling that it's not "arthritis" (my PCPs first guess) and it's something more serious.

I went to the ER, and they did an ultrasound and X-rays on my right thigh, but there's no clots or anything showing.....although they won't tell you everything in the ER. You have to read the reports, etc.

I hope things get better for us all.

Hugs, mush love and light to y'all!!!!!!!!!!

Figured I would post this since it came up in facebook

Last year, I was at my lowest with depression since my teen years. I went to the psychiatrist and got put on an additional antidepressant to help with the chemical side as well as seeing a psychologist to help get the mental side working. This depressive episode had been going on about a year from getting fired from a job I loved because of a new boss that didn’t like that I shined and owned my area. I hated being put on more pills. The antidepressant they added in was known to be pretty harsh. After adjusting and going through a few sessions, I felt I had barely made any progress. So I went to google and started looking up alternative ways through herbs, elixirs, religions (hey, I was desperate) and came across psilocybin and the sacrament. I started researching more on it and kept reading about all these medical benefits and seeing a lot of good testimony. I thought damn I’ve tried that once or twice but never microdosing. So a little digging and I came across PV. I ordered my first bottle and read more like crazy while I waited for it to I knew from other people’s word that results were not immediate and first few weeks were adjusting. Some even said it could be a couple months before I see the benefits roll over to the off days. So first I started at 100. Did that for a month then raised to 200 the next month then 400 the month after that. Every couple weeks I would also do a macro to try and work through some of my mental issues with the depression. I would say probably about the 3rd week I started noticing some improvements. By the end of 200, I could definitely tell my on days and started noticing more how it was starting to help on my off days. By the time I got through the 400 bottle, it felt like I was seeing the good effects on my off days too. During all this time I did stay on all of my medications. There would be a day every once in a while that I would miss my ADHD or the antidepressants and I noticed that I did not feel the lows of missing medication as bad. After another month of 400, I decided to go on a break and just level everything down to just the medications so I could see what difference it had made in 4 months. I’ve now been off for 2 months and feel great. Definitely a lot less depression. Every once in a while I get a low day but that’s the chemical imbalance. Coming up here in February, I plan on starting back up. Probably start at 200 and have a macro every few weeks. During this whole time, I did more research on the medicinal types and gourmet types. I added in lions mane and niacin (stamets stack) half way through that first month. Then about halfway through the second month, I added reishi and cordyceps. Even though I’ve been off the microdosing for almost two months, I still keep the two stacks daily and even on off days before. I should say that I do deal with a lot of depression, ADHD, some anxiety, insomnia, and high blood pressure just to name a few. My health is better now almost in every area than before I started my journey. My wife has even noticed that my mood and everything has greatly improved. Of course I did tell her after a couple weeks what I was doing.

With as happy and good as everything has gone, I even just recently bought some supplies to try my own hand at mycology and growing. I haven’t started quite yet but super happy to see where this journey continues.