The church was nice enough to send replacement gummies and for whatever reason sent me two packages. Well this solved my question of if I should eat the gummies and whole bar or not lol. I did my hero dose (7 grams) about two weeks ago and it was pretty intense. In fact I went somewhere, I don't know where because I feel like I lost a chunk of time (about an hour and a half I'd guess) but I wasn't scared. In fact my cat has always been my spirit guide during my trips and he came to lay down next to me right as everything started to go black so I knew I would be okay. I saw matrix looking patterns and I felt like I was someone else looking through my eyes from a distance. My eyes felt crunchy which was very odd but I just keep rubbing them until it went away. I came back to reality to a note on my phone with lyrics from a song that I've been really into lately. It's called avalanche and it's about standing up and refusing to go down even in the middle of an avalanche. I cried for my ex, really deeply mourned his suicide and how we can be here one minute and gone the next. I started thinking about how we're all little bursts of life that fade out as we're trying to make it back to the Creator. I visualized millions of little lights bursting and fading as they floated up to a big ball of light. It made the big bang theory make more sense to me honestly. I also felt a huge sense of peace at the beginning, like I was finally at peace with my body and that my body and mind were finally one again. Ever since my autoimmune disease diagnosis I have felt that the disconnect between the two and my lack of self care and self love are why I got sick. That and all the trauma I have endured in this life. I cry less often for my ex now, and it's been easier letting go of alcohol and I've started yoga again. I haven't microdosed since and will probably wait to see how I feel after two months and then decide if I need to get back on the micro. I am really hoping this was the dose that finally helped me heal enough to where I will be okay without it and without alcohol đđ»
The church was nice enough to send replacement gummies and for whatever reason sent me two packages. Well this solved my question of if I should eat the gummies and whole bar or not lol. I did my hero dose (7 grams) about two weeks ago and it was pretty intense. In fact I went somewhere, I don't know where because I feel like I lost a chunk of time (about an hour and a half I'd guess) but I wasn't scared. In fact my cat has always been my spirit guide during my trips and he came to lay down next to me right as everything started to go black so I knew I would be okay. I saw matrix looking patterns and I felt like I was someone else looking through my eyes from a distance. My eyes felt crunchy which was very odd but I just keep rubbing them until it went away. I came back to reality to a note on my phone with lyrics from a song that I've been really into lately. It's called avalanche and it's about standing up and refusing to go down even in the middle of an avalanche. I cried for my ex, really deeply mourned his suicide and how we can be here one minute and gone the next. I started thinking about how we're all little bursts of life that fade out as we're trying to make it back to the Creator. I visualized millions of little lights bursting and fading as they floated up to a big ball of light. It made the big bang theory make more sense to me honestly. I also felt a huge sense of peace at the beginning, like I was finally at peace with my body and that my body and mind were finally one again. Ever since my autoimmune disease diagnosis I have felt that the disconnect between the two and my lack of self care and self love are why I got sick. That and all the trauma I have endured in this life. I cry less often for my ex now, and it's been easier letting go of alcohol and I've started yoga again. I haven't microdosed since and will probably wait to see how I feel after two months and then decide if I need to get back on the micro. I am really hoping this was the dose that finally helped me heal enough to where I will be okay without it and without alcohol đđ»
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