I've been feeling some kind of way lately. I've turned to massages, Qigong, meditation, and the like. I know what I need to do, but I fear doing it for some reason. Maybe it's the Jupiter Retrograde. They're something inside of me that I need purged or healed. I'm seriously considering teaching for a 4 gram bar.

I'm currently on a fast which means no sacrament until Monday or Tuesday. But as I sustain myself on nuts, water, and fruits I'm able to look back and see how far I've come. I think I've been living in a state of what's known as functional freeze. The sacrament is helping me to see myself and to calm down so I can function in society. But it's also causing me to separate from things and people that no longer serve on the path that I'm on. I'm reaching out in the hopes of adding value to the people and world I'm living in whether once upon a time I'd pay the recluse and pray that the world would pass me by. The word of the foreseeable future is participation and closed mouths don't get fed. It's it too late for me to dream to be a copywriter at 54? I still have time.