The church was nice enough to send replacement gummies and for whatever reason sent me two packages. Well this solved my question of if I should eat the gummies and whole bar or not lol. I did my hero dose (7 grams) about two weeks ago and it was pretty intense. In fact I went somewhere, I don't know where because I feel like I lost a chunk of time (about an hour and a half I'd guess) but I wasn't scared. In fact my cat has always been my spirit guide during my trips and he came to lay down next to me right as everything started to go black so I knew I would be okay. I saw matrix looking patterns and I felt like I was someone else looking through my eyes from a distance. My eyes felt crunchy which was very odd but I just keep rubbing them until it went away. I came back to reality to a note on my phone with lyrics from a song that I've been really into lately. It's called avalanche and it's about standing up and refusing to go down even in the middle of an avalanche. I cried for my ex, really deeply mourned his suicide and how we can be here one minute and gone the next. I started thinking about how we're all little bursts of life that fade out as we're trying to make it back to the Creator. I visualized millions of little lights bursting and fading as they floated up to a big ball of light. It made the big bang theory make more sense to me honestly. I also felt a huge sense of peace at the beginning, like I was finally at peace with my body and that my body and mind were finally one again. Ever since my autoimmune disease diagnosis I have felt that the disconnect between the two and my lack of self care and self love are why I got sick. That and all the trauma I have endured in this life. I cry less often for my ex now, and it's been easier letting go of alcohol and I've started yoga again. I haven't microdosed since and will probably wait to see how I feel after two months and then decide if I need to get back on the micro. I am really hoping this was the dose that finally helped me heal enough to where I will be okay without it and without alcohol 🙏🏻
The church was nice enough to send replacement gummies and for whatever reason sent me two packages. Well this solved my question of if I should eat the gummies and whole bar or not lol. I did my hero dose (7 grams) about two weeks ago and it was pretty intense. In fact I went somewhere, I don't know where because I feel like I lost a chunk of time (about an hour and a half I'd guess) but I wasn't scared. In fact my cat has always been my spirit guide during my trips and he came to lay down next to me right as everything started to go black so I knew I would be okay. I saw matrix looking patterns and I felt like I was someone else looking through my eyes from a distance. My eyes felt crunchy which was very odd but I just keep rubbing them until it went away. I came back to reality to a note on my phone with lyrics from a song that I've been really into lately. It's called avalanche and it's about standing up and refusing to go down even in the middle of an avalanche. I cried for my ex, really deeply mourned his suicide and how we can be here one minute and gone the next. I started thinking about how we're all little bursts of life that fade out as we're trying to make it back to the Creator. I visualized millions of little lights bursting and fading as they floated up to a big ball of light. It made the big bang theory make more sense to me honestly. I also felt a huge sense of peace at the beginning, like I was finally at peace with my body and that my body and mind were finally one again. Ever since my autoimmune disease diagnosis I have felt that the disconnect between the two and my lack of self care and self love are why I got sick. That and all the trauma I have endured in this life. I cry less often for my ex now, and it's been easier letting go of alcohol and I've started yoga again. I haven't microdosed since and will probably wait to see how I feel after two months and then decide if I need to get back on the micro. I am really hoping this was the dose that finally helped me heal enough to where I will be okay without it and without alcohol 🙏🏻